recent life mix

 recent life mix

I feel belittled and disrespected by somebody and I think I need to not interact with this person anymore... our relationship started off with him trying to help me deal with bullies online... and he thinks he can teach me etc and this is taken me farther and farther away from my own self-respect and self-esteem and self-assurance and self-confidence and me trying to figure out what's best for me.  I can see why I fell into the relationship with him because it's been so hard for me to find people to try to be close to... And I was neglected by my parents as a kid and so I had some weird patterns... and I think I am a complicated person and not easy to get along with....I go along with things and I over accommodate with another person and then I get angry and explode and then they blame me for my anger but part of the anger is because of something they did previously that's not fair to me... it's complicated and it's really not healthy.  I want to detoxify from this relationship and try to figure out how to love myself and treat myself with respect... I want to treat him with respect as well but unless he will acknowledge that my feelings have value equal to his and my point of view has merit...I don't even know what kind of friendship I can have with this person... but I need to grow up on my end and be the best me that I can be and then see how he responds and if he doesn't respect my intelligence then I can't really interact with him anymore and I'm not perfect and I take full responsibility for my part of the relationship that isn't healthy but I'm not going to let him put it all on me... he did his part as well it's not just me.  I see my dark side I don't know if he sees his dark side.   he seems to think he doesn't have a dark side.   he doesn't really look at himself he even told me that I talk about myself all the time but he doesn't even like to talk about himself...that's kind of a pattern...this is something that I'm going to talk to my therapist about the next time I interact with therapy...

Cuz remember guys the science is settled we all know that scientists come up with a theory and they stick with it forever and they never change their minds because we never learn anything new that's the way it's always been right yeah that sounds really accurate and ethical doesn't it common sense total Common sense oh yeah total wisdom

don't let anyone who's abusing their power get you down just keep doing what you love do what you love do what you love do what you love no matter what just keep doing what you love

artists who inspire and or influence me:  (VISUAL, MUSICAL, MULTI MEDIA WHATEVER MIXED) music and art mixed:   Yayoi Kusama,  Hundertwasser, Laurie Anderson, Imogen Heap, Bjork, Tori Amos, Tom Petty, Bob Dylan,  Beck,  Georgia O'Keeffe, Frida Kahlo, Meredith Monk, Vincent van Gogh, Gustav Klimt, Francis Bacon, Australian Aboriginal Artists, Cindy Sherman, Jenny Saville, Edie Brickell, Patti Smith,
Annie Leibovitz, Tom Waits, Amanda Palmer, Jason Webley, Jesse Sykes,
Alanis Morissette, Rafe Pearlman,  Joni Mitchell, Frank Zappa, George Carlin, Christopher Walken, Captain Beefheart, Martha Graham, Jeff Beck, Mick Jagger (as a performer)  Temple Grandin (PHD autistic human who is brillliant) and one of the best books:  "The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path To Higher Creativity is a self-help book by American author Julia Cameron", Heather Nova...Russell Brand comedian philosopher...completely resonate with his mind...    will add more soon!  so many amazing people.

someone just asked about my art training.  i was trained in graphic design and by my mother who is also a self taught artist but she went to san diego state and i went to Seattle central community college and  took their two year graphic design program along with painting and drawing.  i am trained in art and have been since i was 6 years old.  (i was also taught a lot about music and comedy by my dad who does both in his own way)   Hundertwasser is my biggest inspiration.  i have taken many art and design classes AND HAVE MY OWN STYLE.  always have.  have never wanted to do traditional art.  took art history and it was fascinating.  i guess i will now refresh my memory of who my favorite artists are.  Laurie Anderson resonates with me.  she is multi media.  Hundertwasser also is at  the top.    i finished my BA degree at Antioch University Seattle in 2013.  i was trained in color and composition and my abstract paintings AND photographs follow the golden proportion balance rule in design.  it's intuitive and my inspiration is NATURE.  the shapes and patterns i see in nature.  plants, tree bark, leaves,  geography that you see from airplanes looking down on the earth.  i am upset about the lack of education people have on good design and color and composition whether art is "realism" or abstract DESIGN and composition PRINCIPLES APPLY.    Bio:
Multi Media Artist Shannon Kringen grew up in San Diego California and Whidbey Island Washington. She is a self taught photographer with a background in Graphic Design (complete the two year Graphic Design program at SCCC in 1989) . She has worked as a figure model in Seattle since 1992.  She completed her BA degree in Arts and Literature from Antioch University in 2013. She sees her creative expression as a tool to connect with community and a way of increasing self awareness and tap into a deeper wisdom within.
Artist Statement:
I work with cameras and paint improvisationally. I am very kinesthetic and use my whole body when I create.
In my photography,  I  fall in love with shape, texture and light while out wandering. I like to capture what is naturally there but in a way that abstracts it and allows the viewer to notice something new and different about ordinary physical reality. I carefully compose all my photos spontaneously as I am shooting moving the camera angle until I see what looks like a balanced, dynamic composition.
In my painting, I allow my hands to move intuitively on the canvas creating shapes and textures that feel right. I repeat patterns and choose colors from somewhere beyond my thinking mind. I am very inspired by the repeating patterns I see in nature. Plants and animals move me a great deal.
I am taping into my unconscious and go into a dream like state when I create art.

Thinking of trying to start an online support group secret and private free speech allowed!  with like-minded people who question the status quo so to speak and have a different way of staying healthy... A place where people are allowed to say what they really think without getting shut down or gaslit or shamed  etc to be supported and encouraged to use common sense and wisdom would be luxurious!

Relevant now! Sharing this from Brittany Tutors
  - "They feared the witches
Instead of those who burned them
Why's that, would you say?"
#haiku

saw a woodpecker today in my forest walk:  The woodpecker's home within the tree is analogous of a fierce determination to return and protect that which is sacred to us. When this bird comes pecking, it is a call for us to return to our roots, back to the womb of our ideas and use our intellect and discernment to follow through with our plans.

had a long walk in the rainy forest and saw a red headed wood pecker and it symbolizes this "In General, the Red-headed Woodpecker is symbolic that you are illuminating the world. ... The woodpecker meaning encourages you to strike a balance between being kind and being cautious. It symbolizes the need to understand different rhythms, patterns, and cycles, and to do your best to adapt to them and flourish"  https://youtu.be/kuuT6BxhQwo

so different love it!  Tom Petty - You Saw Me Comin' (Alternate Version) [Official Music Video]  LOVE THE COMBINATION of  tom's vocals with guitar and piano on this song.  different than most of their other music!!!!!  “You Saw Me Comin’,” a previously unreleased song and recording from 1992 and the final track on the collection, is premiering alongside a video directed by Joel Kazuo Knoernschild and Katie Malia. Reflecting upon recording “You Saw Me Comin’” for Wildflowers, Benmont Tench notes, “There’s this kind of longing in the song, in the way that he wrote the chord structure, the melody and the lyrics. It’s wistful, and it would have been the perfect way to end the disc.”  https://youtu.be/uiLVP1tJMVs

always question authority by Goddess KRING
https://youtu.be/h1e78PAlGj8

I know that I shouldn't need anybody to understand my art but I'm actually trained in design and color and composition and  graphic design and I think some people think my abstract art is just primitive and not well done but I know that my abstract art is well done but I feel frustrated like I'm not finding where it's appreciated I guess I need to figure it out I need to just know that I think I do good work and if other people don't get it I need to just accept that and focus on the people that are fans of my work actually and build on that.  I was just in an art therapy group online and I held up my art and I sort of like had a lack of confidence with it and people don't really seem to get my work but some people do... It's just a very uncomfortable feeling...

get some white shoes and shaprie markers and color your shoes!  that is what i did on these.  http://www.shannonkringen.com/kringwear.htm  you can also hire me to paint your shoes.  have fun

parallels with Allegory of the cave and logans run and current "reality"

Mood totally shifted in a more positive direction because I got to model for an art class today in person and then I got to go straight to a second job working with medical students and I got to play a role for 12 different students playing the same role twelve different times... it's so fascinating to act out a patient's issue with different students because each student had a totally different style and they all have the same objective of helping me as a medical patient but it felt different with each person.   I'm fascinated by improvisational acting... that is basically what it is but it's in the role of helping train medical students... it's fascinating work I really missed it and I feel and I had a great conversation with the proctor who is an actual doctor observing the students and grading them and we had a fascinating conversation about so many different things... very cool I miss talking to such interesting people that are in The healing arts of medicine...reminds me that I need to find stimulating conversation with different kinds of people I was kind of stuck in a rut and man I look talking to certain different kinds of people very stimulating although now I feel like I need to rest and recharge

Not only do I hug trees Barefoot I kiss trees

http://www.shannonkringen.com/
https://mewe.com/i/shannonkringen
https://www.patreon.com/goddesskring

woodpecker on todays nature walk Goddess KRING

woodpecker on todays nature walk Goddess KRING. saw a woodpecker today in my forest walk: The woodpecker's home within the tree is analogous of a fierce determination to return and protect that which is sacred to us. When this bird comes pecking, it is a call for us to return to our roots, back to the womb of our ideas and use our intellect and discernment to follow through with our plans....had a long walk in the rainy forest and saw a red headed wood pecker and it symbolizes this "In General, the Red-headed Woodpecker is symbolic that you are illuminating the world. ... The woodpecker meaning encourages you to strike a balance between being kind and being cautious. It symbolizes the need to understand different rhythms, patterns, and cycles, and to do your best to adapt to them and flourish"

venting shannon kringen

 venting shannon kringen

my dad took me to see George Carlin the comedian when I was a teenager and it was effing awesome and great I was too young to fully understand the cynical humor and now I get it big time it's more relevant than ever now with the amount of corruption we have going on right now it's big time relevant The comedy of George Carlin is big big big time relevant to right now and that helps me feel less angry to listen to his humor

The entire Tori Amos album native invader is really helping me right now

I'm pretty sure that Frank Zappa and George Carlin would agree with a lot of my thoughts right now that I'm not even allowed to mention here

The way people belittle people who question the status quo and make fun of them and talk about absurd things that are ridiculous just to discredit anyone who challenges the status quo those people are very abusive and I don't want them in my life.  that is a form of gas lighting which is rampant these days and I don't like it it's not okay with me I feel like I need to protect myself from those kinds of people I feel like I'm back in high school and people are a threat to me but I guess that's what they want us to think they want us to think that we're all the threat to each other and we need to protect ourselves from each other so that the wealthy elite powerful people who run things can do whatever the heck they want and we are subservient to them and yet we're supposed to feel protected by them but really we're just subservient to them

Making a full-time living online is my long-term goal.  certain things I'm required to do out in society now is really just not doable for me so I need to find a way to carve a life where I can mostly be a natural free human being and that's working from home and then walking in the forest by myself or with anyone who feels safe enough to actually radically walk in the forest with me and breathe the air in the forest imagine that?

Everyone is responsible for their own life so take care of yourself nobody can really help anyone else we're all in this alone separate and solo that's more clear to me now than ever before.

Going to sunbathe today and walk Barefoot in the forest. ..and then I have an art modeling job and then a medical modeling job back-to-back and some of the protocols I find questionable but I will follow the rules because that's what I'm required to do whether I think it's healthy or not.

A very famous person that I admire that's fighting for ethics in medicine has been censored and erased from certain social media platforms and I find this very psychologically disturbing.   I better not say anymore... certain stories are allowed to be spoken and then other things are accused of not being accurate when really the flip might be true but I won't say anything specific cuz I'm not allowed to say that here have a nice day rainbow Sunshine unicorn fluffy fluffy fluff

when entire groups of people are labeled as bad and ostracized you know that we're in trouble and that is starting to happen

No one wants to believe that humans are capable of such intense betrayal on a massive scale.   throughout history humans have done atrocities to each other and when it's happening people are in denial and nobody wants to think that there's something really bad happening when it's actually happening... there's patterns that repeat in history....so now I'm just going to go nighty night and have some sleep and dreams and then get up tomorrow and do what I can that's helpful

yeah I guess I'm so angry I want to sabotage every friendship I have and I want to push everyone away I'm angry at myself and I'm angry with the entire world so I guess I better go to sleep now good night


And I'm sorry to all the people who don't like me out there that think I only care about myself I have to take care of myself nobody else is taking care of me I have to take care of myself I don't really have much of a family other than my mom and dad and they're both busy and preoccupied with their own lives and it's always been that way I do feel like an orphan I've always taken care of myself and that's all I have is myself really I've never learned how to bond with other people very well but that's my own fault so I have to focus on how to figure out how to take care of myself because I really can't stand some of my issues much longer I'm getting really tired and I wish I could just fast forward and be 95 years old so I can just not have to stay on this Earth forever

and remember book burning is good right yeah we need to burn any book that's controversial we need to erase anyone that says anything that's not with the pr campaign sponsored by large corporations

Amazing how powerful and effective the marketing PR campaign has been


We seem to think that other people have the answers for us and I'm back to square one I know what's best for me nobody else doe

I think I really am autistic because honestly when I'm upset and I reach out to others  I feel worse when I talk to other people!   I feel best if I just take a brisk walk and just listen to my own inner wisdom... the answer is within me.

Took my two brisk walks today much better at night so I dont see anyone and have to deal with what makes me angry that I won't explain here !  Goodnight Irene

Edit took a brisk walk that did more good for me than talking to anybody ever could.   I think I'm going to quit therapy because it's not helping me.   I'm probably using it to make me worse because I'm so angry... I'm really good at using things to be self-destructive with to be honest with you.   I did call my dad and he listened to me non-judgmentally and I'm grateful for that but I do my best work by myself I'm kind of like Dorothy in The wizard of Oz... like the power is within me giving my power away to other people never helps me ever.

I can see why people use denial to cope ...easier to be asleep but I cannot do that -


one walk done second walk soon

People who gaslight me need to get the effff out of my life!  and I need to stand up to them and kick them out... cut them off... erase them from my life!   boundaries!  I'm really angry right now I have a habit of being overly polite and accommodating and then I realize that I'm pissed later it's not good but I'm responsible for that

Just washed my little tiny smart car I think it's been a year since I've done that

so the USA  can't afford to raise the minimum wage but the millionaires and billionaires and trillionaires that are the bosses of most Americans get richer and richer and richer and richer and richer and richer and richer and richer and yet we cannot afford the raise the  standard of living for the average American!?  that is a lie a lie a lie a lie a big fat fat stinky farty lie.

I keep asking myself what do you enjoy what do you want to do and lately the answer has been i don't know...

Today I give myself permission to just not really know what I want or who I am I'm just drifting and I'm grateful that tonight I get to do a training on webcam with some other people for an important job that I have Wednesday and Saturday

my whole life i have felt "left out" excluded etc and like i don't belong with others.  i knew this but i can feel it more strongly now than ever before.  finding my "tribe" is not feeling possible but i dont really try maybe? I like my space I mostly like to be alone so I've always felt conflicted like part of me Longs for connection and part of me just wants to be alone most of the time how much of this is because I'm wounded and how much of this is because I'm an introvert and I like my solitude and I might even be autistic who knows I'm so tired of not knowing so I don't care that I don't know today it's okay to just not know and I'm just breathing and eating and sleeping I'm just alive!  time for a walk in nature.  good luck everyone.  i like my solitude and i'd rather be honest and solo than with others having to "conform" to things that i don't believe in doing.  finding people i feel like i can be myself with and they can be themselves around me would be even better- but i have not found that so far in life.

wow very challenging awareness expanding.

why i eat beef organ meats:  They are particularly rich in B-vitamins, such as vitamin B12 and folate. They are also rich in minerals, including iron, magnesium, selenium and zinc, and important fat-soluble vitamins like vitamins A, D, E and K. Furthermore, organ meats are an excellent protein source


Soil! Regenerate!

03-02-21 Goddess KRING