Wow I just acted out with counseling students
twice in a row and I love improvisational acting! I said totally
different things even with same general script...each student generates
different ideas in me. Fascinating work! I'm grateful
Note to self make a video about the dream you had
where your dad that I got up on stage and saying his folk song that he
wrote and what a beautiful pleasant dream that was mixed in with all of
the stressful dreams that I've had lately
When people tell me that I'm off topic when I
mention something that reminds me of something else that they're saying I
wish that they would ask me hey that sounds off topic to me what do you
mean by that and then let me explain that would be cool to learn
something new! That's the way my brain works but I don't expect
everyone's brain to work this way but it's good for me to assert this
and just keep doing what I love and let people take it or leave it! My
dad just sent me some cool inspiring quotes from Albert Einstein and it
reminds me of to me I connect the dots and I think everything is
connected so sometimes when people say hey what you're saying is off
topic in my mind it's on topic and when I listen to Albert Einstein it
validates something in me about how everything is connected and I have
sort of a philosophical everything is relative way of looking at things
and I see everything as a symbol and a metaphor and I see the microcosm
and the macrocosm and the sort of mirror repetitive effect and so I'm
going to write a new poem that has something to do with that although
some of my poems already do have something to do with this topic and my
own kind of abstract metaphorical way like ocean beam come clean come
clean manifesting dreams blackfire feather rain inner energy life force
come forth etc some of the lines that just pop into my head and I write
them down and to me everything is connected and when you use your
imagination you can build bridges instead of walls if you want to that's
the way I see things all relative
Yes when I listen to Einstein quotes it it
inspires me because I seem to connect the dots in a similar way not that
I'm as amazing as Einstein but I think that his wavelength I resonate
with a little bit the free association and the daydreameness of it all
in the everything is relative and everything is microcosmicrocosm I
totally understand that like on an intuitive level
And by the way sometimes the emperor still has no clothes! Smoke and mirrors
When people tell me that I'm off topic when I
mention something that reminds me of something else that they're saying I
wish that they would ask me hey that sounds off topic to me what do you
mean by that and then let me explain that would be cool to learn
something new! That's the way my brain works but I don't expect
everyone's brain to work this way but it's good for me to assert this
and just keep doing what I love and let people take it or leave it! My
dad just sent me some cool inspiring quotes from Albert Einstein and it
reminds me of to me I connect the dots and I think everything is
connected so sometimes when people say hey what you're saying is off
topic in my mind it's on topic and when I listen to Albert Einstein it
validates something in me about how everything is connected and I have
sort of a philosophical everything is relative way of looking at things
and I see everything as a symbol and a metaphor and I see the microcosm
and the macrocosm and the sort of mirror repetitive effect and so I'm
going to write a new poem that has something to do with that although
some of my poems already do have something to do with this topic and my
own kind of abstract metaphorical way like ocean beam come clean come
clean manifesting dreams blackfire feather rain inner energy life force
come forth etc some of the lines that just pop into my head and I write
them down and to me everything is connected and when you use your
imagination you can build bridges instead of walls if you want to that's
the way I see things all relative
Is this why I obsess sometimes when I read a bunch
of snarky comments that people leave cuz they don't like me or my
"public persona" or artwork etc. I kind of feel like I want to prove to
them that I'm a good person I want to prove something but those are the
kind of people that no matter what you say or do they're just going to
be snarky! They want to play an ego game like Ping pong and smack the
ball around! I don't understand why I don't just learn that that's how
some people are!? It's like part of me is still a 6-year-old naive kid
that thinks I can make friends with anybody like I'm in kindergarten
maybe that is the part of me that's autistic that's like still like a
6-year-old little kid that's kind of not full of their own ego and just
wants to be cooperative with other little kids blah blah blah even
though we're all adults now right hahaha!?
Of course my favorite people are the ones who appreciate what I do and
are inspired and see me as somebody who's cheering them on as they cheer
me on instead of some weird creepy competition or some pigeonhole put
each other down and criticize blah blah blah but then I can see why some
people are freaked out by me because sometimes I do lose my temper and I
get defensive and I've gotten into weird arguments with people and
unfriended people- or had them unfriend me it's gone both directions-
here on this website and there are some people that I know longer
communicate with but the truth is if both me and them forgave each other
and agreed to agree to disagree and we can move on we can maybe still
connect but if they're not willing to apologize to me in the same way
that I'm willing to apologize to them then we really can't really be
friends anymore here online just some of my thoughts about the way
people gossip about each other! My job is to do my art and share it and
basically not worry about the people who like it or don't like it or
feel neutral about it because I just read a thread of some people who
don't like what I do or we're bitching about whatever they don't like
about me blah blah blah which is totally fine because everyone is
entitled to have whatever opinion about me that they want and I'm
entitled to have whatever opinion I have but man people can be nasty and
I have to just keep on doing what I love and when people pigeonhole you
or stereotype you or label you it really is kind of a bad creepy
feeling but I'm also trying to not do that to other people and be a
hypocrite so... "think of me what you will/ I got a little space to
fill" is a Tom Petty lyric that comes in handy right now for me!
